Gentlemen's Club Etiquette

The title said it all – GENTLEMEN’S club. Trust me; you want to feel welcomed in each and every one of these clubs. Missing out is not an option, so take out your notepad and pencil and take notes. Like all places, strip clubs have a code of conduct some written, most not, but all obvious.

Tip the bouncer

It’s one of the best kept secrets of strip clubs, bouncers are the second most connected employees in the joint (DJs are the first in case you are curious). They know all the ladies and can hook you up should you be in their good graces. This is especially true with us during our trip in Montreal. Most bouncers will NOT seat you until you tip.

Dress appropriately

Again, “GENTLEMEN’S” club so dress like one. However, don’t wear the shirt your girlfriend or wife gave you because when the night is over, you don’t want to find lipstick, their stripper’s perfume or bodily fluids on it.

Inquire about prices

Strip clubs are like TITS – no two are exactly alike so ask about the fees for dances, booths, lounge, champagne room, (although do remember Chris Rock said “There’s no sex in the champagne room!” private dance rooms, etc. Some dancers will only dance with a partner (as in Solid Gold) or features props and could cost you more. Bottom line is it pays to inquire.

Don’t get drunk

Question “WHY?” – Why get drunk and miss out? Besides getting intoxicated in these clubs can get expensive. You might lose control of your limbs as your inhibitions quickly melt away, offend people, get rowdy but lets not forget that 800 pound bouncer.

Treat the ladies with respect

One of the most important things to remember should you decide to get a dance is to engage in a conversation with her. Tell her she’s HOT and you need a paramedic fast cause you are having a heart-attack. Be friendly and you’ll get it back tenfold. By far this is the most important point. Enough said.

Montreal - Travel and Accommodation

Pure and simple - a visit to a strip club has always been a compulsory right of passage for every young emergent man. Some will argue good porn is but I tend to disagree. So rally up and graduate from the glossy magazines, internet porn and your DVDs to the real thing - well, not all are real, some have silicone BUT nonetheless!

Don't forget, getting there is half the fun so drive up, enjoy the company of friends and do your research before heading north.

Canadian Fun!

With a still favorable exchange rate and cheap lap dances, Canada is definitely the place to have lots of good clean fun. The boys and I just returned from Montreal and here is the 411.

On our first night, we started at Club Super Contact 690 Ste-Catherine Ouest (516)878-9696 which features a full bar, no dress code, $5 for drinks and around 25 dancers. The first impression when I walked in was that the girls were hot but the place is small. Good place to start the juices flowing since this is semi contact club where you can touch girls but they keep their distance. We ended our first night in Solid Gold, 8820 Saint-Laurent Blvd (514)381-6283, 50 female dancers, feature center-stage acts, no dress code and drinks going for $5 per beer. Gold comes as the most highly recommended club and is a must visit for anyone looking for a full-contact club with a wide selection of hot girls. Do pay the extra $5 for the VIP room which features exclusive girls that only work in the VIP section.

On our second night, we started at Le Club Downtown, 1196 Ste-Catherine St W (516)861-5193, about 20 female dancers, medium size club but poorly designed and stage layout. Drinks are surprising cheap - $35 for six Coronas. We got our first bucket for free since this place was packed and the lovely waitress forgot to take our money – w00t w00t, more money for dances! This club offers really stunning girls which make zero effort to hustle you for a dance as they get grabbed by men the second they are free. This made it difficult for the boys to take pleasure in these beauties. To make matters worst, we were sited in a far hidden corner with limited view of the center stage. On our way to our second club, we found this sleazy club, Bar Le Scandale 286 Rue Ste-Catherine Est (514) 843-6117, and decided to give it a shot. DO NOT come here if you are looking for hot strippers. This is where all the rejects end up. Having said that, we did had a blast and perhaps the most memorable part of our trip. I’ll skip the details but maybe one of the boys can explain the whip marks on the bachelor’s cheeks. The last, but certainly not least, club was Kamasutra Club 3580, St-Dominique (514)842-4892, 25 female dancers, $8 drinks, exceedingly good décor and medium size club. This club is jam-packed with absolutely gorgeous girls catered to business men, jet-setters looking for a good time, and cheating husbands. Private booths are really private and are not just a chair and curtain. If you are looking for value for your money, look nowhere else. Chill out and classy are the two words that will best describe it.